A lot has happened in the past year, when I look back. Good and bad. I laughed, I cried, I got my heart broken. I thought things couldn’t get any worse and they did. And then I thought things couldn’t go any better and well, they did!
And I changed. I changed as a person. I began to see things differently. I began to see myself in a different light. I realised how powerful my thoughts were and how they have affected my personality till the day. Honestly, I used to be this negative person, always crying and complaining about things not working out, even hurting myself when things go bad. I was a pessimist. I used to think that I wasn’t much, that the world around me wasn’t much. I used to think that everyone is broken inside. I thought that the world was mad, mad in the lack of happiness, mad in its desire to be loved.
And I, I wasn’t any different. I wasn’t any better. I guess that we never realise that who we are as a person. We are who we are for others to accept us, like us, admire us, fall in love with us. We always pretend to be someone we are not! Our actions don’t match our thoughts, and our words don’t match our actions. And we do the same thing to others too. They tell us who they are, how they want to be treated but we just want them to be who we want them to be or who we need them to be or who we have always imagined them to be.
Changing this is difficult. Changing yourself in order to act the way you want is difficult. Changing who you are because you want to become the person you have always wanted to be is an almost impossible task.
But why? Why can’t we change ourselves in order to get rid of the miseries of our life?
Because we get trapped in our comfort zone. And in this mind numbing routine. We do the same thing over and over again. We die one day at a time. We stop seeing beyond appearances, we stop facing things. But stepping out of the comfort zone is what makes you feel alive! Truly. Doing what you have always been afraid of doing makes you grow as a person.
Life is not only meant to be lived, it is also meant to be faced with all the goods and the bad and all the scary stuffs. All the risks, the craziness, and the randomness. Change is sometimes painful and hard. But ultimately, change is inevitable. So instead of fighting our inner demons, we should dedicate our energy on shaping who we become…