Lost

Snapchat-319358789.jpgHave you ever been lost? No, I don’t mean getting lost while travelling or while visiting a new place. But mentally, lost. When you don’t know what’s coming next or what should you do or how to survive. That’s a terrible feeling, getting lost. You have your friends yet you cannot speak a word to anyone. You are surrounded by lots of humans yet there is no one to rescue you from the demon wrestling in your mind,destroying you. You are not able to think. Right seems wrong and wrong seems delightful. What do you do now? Where to go? Because there is no place in this universe where you can escape. From yourself.

Advertisements

There’s something off about me and I know it. I will never fit in. It makes me sick to think how much time I have wasted trying to be liked, how much time I have wasted worrying about what other people will think about me. I don’t want to care but I can’t help it. It hurts that people don’t like me. It’s always there, The longing.

Be Yourself

An amazing thing happens when you get honest with yourself and start doing what you love,and what makes makes you happy. Your life literally slows down. You stop wishing for the weekend and holidays. You stop merely looking forward to special events. You start to live your each and every moment. You start feeling like a human being. You just ride the wave that is life,with this feeling of joy and contentment. You move fluidly,steadily,calm and grateful. A veil is lifted and a whole new perspective is born.

Be Yourself :))

She ❤

“I didn’t like her because I thought she was perfect,I liked her because of the simple fact that she wasn’t and she knew that. She was magic to me,so incredibly flawed,so natural. She was never trying to be something she wasn’t. She was exactly who she was. And I thought she was beautiful. She had a wildfire soul and the strength to singe the seas. When she laughed,she was beautiful. When she cried,she was beautiful. She walked among lions and danced along with fire,making even the demons blush.I liked that she had storms inside her eyes that she couldn’t control. But more,I liked that she was comfortable with it. She had a gypsy soul and a warrior spirit. She had a wild heart for which she made no apologies. She had this personality,vast and glorious. This was the best and the worst thing about her.”

“She’s the exclamation mark in the most happiest sentence I could ever write.”

Loneliness.

I know how you feel when you’re alone. All alone. Lying on the bed,watching the ceiling. Or looking at your phone as if you’re waiting for some miracle to happen or as if it’s meant to bring you some peace or happiness. It will bring you peace from all the demons that is tugging in your head. You ask yourself,who you are? What are you doing? What do you want? Who want you? Do anyone really love you the way you love? Or it’s just a fake feeling that they show to you? Does anyone really care or you’re expecting so much? You wonder why don’t people love you in the way you do? Why don’t they care the way you do?

In the end you’ll realize,someday,that no one else will but only you can love yourself. No one else can bring you happiness,only you can,to yourself. :))

Board exams.

From childhood,we just had only one reason to study. Exams. To get good marks,ofcourse Getting good marks and then clearing your entrance examinations to get into your so called “dream college” or I must say your parent’s dream college instead. I am giving my boards and I don’t know what to do. I am forced to study engineering even if I have no interest in doing it. Why? Just because it’s over rated. I don’t know what I really want to do in my life or what I really want to become or what my real dream is,but definitely not this is. We’re forced to study hard and to get fucking good marks but who cares if we’re really getting educated or just getting trained to get into a good college? Right now,I’m giving my 12th board examinations and I’m really sad about me,myself and my life. x